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Writer's picturegrm555

The Adventures of Slick & Tootsie..Day Two

Updated: May 8


Day Two of Our Drive to the Miami Cruise Port.

 

The journey between the Panhandle of Florida and South Florida can be done in a day for any two sane people. Obviously, we are not sane. We took 17 days. About 35 minutes per trip. The hotels alone cost more than our entire two-month journey. Then again, potty stops took 16 of the 17 days.

 

Oh, the joys of aging!

 

So, we got on the highway. A toll road no less. Traveler #2 lets me drive. Something about the 72 bruises on his right arm I had to inflict the day before to keep him on the road. By the time we hit the hotel, his right arm was a bit incapacitated.

 

We had a Sun Pass. For those unfamiliar with a Sun Pass, it is a prepaid toll-thingy that allows you to keep driving without stopping at toll booths. Traveler #2 assured me the Sun Pass had money on it before we left home.


About ½ mile from the first overhead Sun Pass clicker he suddenly screams, “STOP!” I slam on the brakes and lurch to the side of the road thinking he is having a heart attack. Instead, he says, “I can’t remember if I added money to the Sun Pass or not.”

 

By now I am sweating like a wildebeest thinking he was reading to die. Slowly, with no anger in my voice, I explain the situation. I say, “Dear,” (Between the fake smile and clenched teeth,”) you do realize that if we don’t have enough money on the Sun Pass they will just bill us by our plate number?” 

 

“Oh,” he says with that sweet little look he gives me when he hasn’t thought things out.

 

I glance in the rearview mirror at the arriving squad cars that are here to assess the 12 damaged cars that all crashed together after I slammed on the brakes and careened into the ditch. Not to worry, as this little KIA SUV with the cardboard seats drove us right out of that ditch and we continued down the road like we’d stopped for a cup of tea!

 

I did see a lot of fists jamming the air as we drove off. Oh well.

 

I’m driving along AT the speed limit of 70. Not 45 and not 85. Just 70. Okay, maybe 72. He’s over there jerking around with his cell phone. I’ve already put the map in my phone, so there is nothing for him to do except sit there and direct me to the next pee stop. But NO!

 

For the next four hours, I hear, “Hey Honey, Can you tell me the address of where we are going? Oooo! Want to read this? Wow! See this picture the kids sent? Look at those solar fields! Did you see the head of a thousand cattle over there?’

 

Did I mention I am driving down the road at 70-72? And I am so tired. Sleeping on a bale of loose hay last night at the "not-so-fancy" hotel did nothing for my beauty rest. His either.

 

But the bat was handy and after an hour of his persistent questions, I put him out for a little while. It was all good.

 

We arrived at our next hotel before dark, (11:30 a.m.) and checked into a lovely Hampton Inn & Suites. Quite the upgrade from the previous night. I’m just saying.

 

We finished dinner (it’s now noon,) at a local restaurant we could walk to. It was recommended by our hotel staff.

 

Traveler #2 was walking a little slow. Could have been the latest bat hit, but we made it.

 

It was a lovely little Mexican Restaurant.  We made a bet on how fast our meal would arrive. Traveler #2 guessed 12 minutes. I guessed 7 minutes. We both lost. It came in record time. Three minutes. We ate delicious food and were back in the room in less than 10 minutes, including the walk.

 

It was now 11:59 a.m. and we were ready for bed. Just a two-hour the next day and we'd be in Miami.  We counted that as 32 pee stops and before boarding the ship. We added three more suitcases along the way. Gotta love those Busy Bee gas stations!

 

We wouldn't have internet until we reach Spain. We would have had communication at all five stops, but that was before Traveler #2’s little “incident” on the last time we traveled to Europe.

 

Because of the incident," we are banned from 3 of the 5 stops we will make where we could have gotten internet. The Captain made it very clear we wouldn't be allowed off the ship. It was a mixup, I'm sure. Probably better for you not to know all the details, as our last adventure might make you rethink traveling to Europe in the future. But those guys (sorry Officers,) won't mess with an old man and a tube of toothpaste anytime soon.

 

But for us, it was one more great adventure!

 

Bon Voyage!

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