In life, we tend to fantasize about things we want or expect to happen. Like the joy you will get the next time you see family or friends. Maybe you've been away from them a long time. In your mind, you see coming together again as a chance to share in the missed joys of their lives and let them share in yours. Maybe you've sacrificed a lot of money and time and went out of your way to see the smile you have longed for. Or you put off the vacation of your dreams just to feel their arms wrapped around you.
Then, in all your excitement, you meet again, only to find that after an hour or so, you are in the way. A bother. An interference to their daily lives.
You have choices once you realize that. You can be mad. Strike out in anger. Try manipulating them with guilt. Or you can realize you are different people in different places in your life and take what little they may give you.
The latter is the better choice. Sure, you probably blew your entire travel budget and missed visiting Italy or Ireland, places you can't wait to return to. But in the end, you suck it up. You don't let anyone know how hurt you are. That you feel like you're in the way.
Instead, you hug them goodbye. Tell them you love them. And realize it's time to look ahead to something new.
As Baby Boomers, we have spent our lifetime trying to make someone else's life easier. Better. Our parents. Our kids. Our friends. Our spouses. Our bosses. Our co-workers. Usually, you were overlooked even then.
It doesn't mean we should give up or stop doing what God has put in our hearts to do.
It just means maybe it's time to look for new adventures. Enjoy the things WE want to do without feeling guilty. Maybe we can no longer be closer to those we love because THEY are too busy in their lives, not because they don't love us.
So, move on. Get a new hobby. Help out at church. Travel more. Write a poem. Volunteer. Go on a walk. Find people who WANT to be near you.....just for a little while, at least. Then maybe they'll come around when they miss you, not just when they need something.
Even then, you don't HAVE to be there for them. Let them figure it out, like we had to. They will be stronger for it. Maybe appreciate us a bit more when they realize we were ALWAYS there for them.
Then Go. Live YOUR life. Have some unexpected fun with no strings attached to anyone.
Just hang on to the precious memories they left behind.......
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