I am quite a bit behind on posting as life on the road has been demanding, (in a good way.) I will shorten this post to catch you all up. You believe that right?)
After our traumatic departure from the cruise ship, we taxied to a lovely uber-modern Barcelona Airport Hotel (BAH) as we had an early flight to Frankfurt the next morning. The hotel was shaped round like a silver spaceship. While I settled up with the cab driver, Traveler #2 waddled his way to what he thought was the front door and disappeared.
I saw people coming out of what looked like a tube to the stars, so I grabbed our luggage and entered a wide circular tube that spit me into a vast lobby. Seriously, I thought I’d been sucked up into a spaceship. I checked in with no sign of Traveler #2. Thinking he might be in the restroom, I waited. And waited. And waited.
Soon, I hear one of the front desk personnel calling for security. Seems Traveler #2 had entered the hotel through the kitchen and was mistaken for a new employee by the chef.
Traveler #2, with his “world-famous” Germy-French-Spanglish language skills, had inadvertently offered to deliver a room-service meal. He thought the chef was offering him a free welcome meal.
Let’s just say THAT was a bit embarrassing, especially when security tracked him down. He was wandering the circular hotel looking for me clutching that covered plate of food like a homeless man.
After a lengthy conversation with security, paying the hefty bill, and six hard hits with the bat, we settled into the lovely room. We were starving so we headed to the restaurant. Of course, I made him change clothes, and wear my coat. I covered his head with a paper bag so we wouldn’t be recognized. It worked! We had the best fish and chips I’ve ever eaten and escaped the next morning to the airport without any further issues.
Our flight went without incident if that is believable. Traveler #2 behaved himself almost all the way. I didn’t have to use the bat all day!
For those unfamiliar with Frankfurt airport, it is a mess. They are undergoing construction every time we go there. It is the 2nd or 3rd largest airport in Europe. Did I mention it is a mess?
We landed amidst 12,000 other planes and parked near our gate, a gate I swear was 2 ½ miles from the actual terminal. Of course, there was no ramp to connect to the plane. If there had been it would have had to be as long as the Chunnel.
Instead, they roll up a 300 ft. tall metal staircase that had to have been made during the Middle Ages. We were sitting near the front of the plane. We had only a small backpack each and hoped getting off the plane would cause no issues. But NO.
Even after my “very thorough” explanation of what he should do, Traveler #2 decided to put his bag in an overhead department three rows back, instead of tucking it under his seat. Any good traveler knows that the sea of disembarking passengers will beat you to death to get off the plane four seconds early. It was no different in Germany.
But not easily discouraged, Traveler #2 stood for the last ½ hour of the flight. Upon landing, he sprung into the aisle and rushed back to retrieve the backpack. He did meet some resistance from an old man with one leg.
Once Traveler #2 knocked the man’s crutch into a little kid he had it made. The old man fell to the left landing on his wife. She was NOT happy. Traveler #2 grabbed his backpack and we were off.
Good thing we had that head start, as it took an hour and 45 minutes to descend the steps and rush to the next awaiting bus. The doors were closing, but with a burst of energy, I made it in time to shoehorn Traveler #2 in for the ½ hour drive to the terminal. I ran behind the bus with the luggage. I needed the steps for my Fitbit.
Once at the terminal, we climbed 422 steps and bought a 15 Euro ($20 US) map to find our way to the baggage claim. We were hustling as Tate was waiting for us. Moving as fast as we could, only 7 wheelchairs passed us and no one was in them. We maneuvered our way through 26 miles of the terminal to baggage claim. Traveler #2 took a two-hour nap while we waited for our checked-in luggage. Tate grew a beard in the parking lot.
At least we made it!
Only one small mistake. Traveler #2 grabbed someone else’s backpack from the overhead compartment. Now he’ll have to wear red stretch pants for the rest of the journey. No worries. He got the good end. The person who got Traveler #2’s bag will be wearing dirty underwear and combing his hair with a corn cob.
More about Germany to follow!
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